After just four months in Scotland, and what we perceived to be the move of a lifetime, we are back home in Montana. At this point, we have been back since the end of December and have almost been home for as long as we were in Glasgow. The mix of emotions has been interesting to say the least: relief, regret, uncertainty...
When I made the decision to apply to the University of Glasgow in April of last year, I was so sure that this move would be permanent for our family. Chase was understandably a bit apprehensive, but was excited at the thought of trying something new. Perhaps the thought of moving abroad for two twenty-somethings who have spent their entire lives in Montana was enticing as both of us were feeling 'stuck'. A part of me felt stuck in my decision to give up on a master's after health complications following the delivery of our oldest in 2020. I had been so dead set on becoming a history professor that I felt like I couldn't simply let go of the dream, and I wanted the opportunity to travel and study somewhere totally out of my element where I would feel truly challenged. Chase felt stuck in his day to day routine with work, and our seeming lack of ability to make our personal career goals profitable.
Moving abroad felt so safe at the time given that the political climate in the United States for most of our lives has seemed to be edging toward a boiling point. I don't really want to get into this discussion, but there were many reasons surrounding this that prompted us to look outside of the US. There was also the thought of simplifying our day to day lives, meaning no health insurance, vehicles, etc. to worry about...but of course we replaced that with visa paperwork and processes instead. One of the most enticing things about going abroad was the idea that our children would have access to a better, safer, and more 'worldly' education. As someone who worked in the public school system in the states, it is safe to say that it is highly unlikely that our children will partake in it.
There was also the aspect of being totally free from familial obligations as well. I feel as though this sounds so cruel, which was certainly not our intent, but it felt as though every free moment away from day to day life was spent attending something for or attending to the needs of family. Of course this is not to say that we don't love our families, but both Chase and I take on unique roles within our family dynamics that almost felt overwhelming to uphold after having our own children. Both of us wanted to not be at the beck and call and disposal of others all of the time, when in hindsight we needed to prioritize our wants and set better boundaries with loved ones.
All of this to say, our experience in Scotland was not one that I would trade for the world, and Chase would agree. Our time there was so lovely, freeing, and so very eyeopening. I have seen and done things that I would have otherwise only dreamt about, and we grew so much together as a family, as a couple, and as individuals. A part of me does regret not completing my degree but that more so relates to thought of leaving something unfinished which is out of character for myself. There is really no reason at the current moment that I need or really want to complete the degree. Being back in the student role made me realize how much I don't miss the rigor and competitiveness of the world of academia. I love my career as an educator and love history, but after completing high school, a bachelor's, and a student teaching experience within the course of five years as opposed to the normal eight or longer, I just feel totally burnt out on my ability to perform academically anymore. It doesn't fuel or excite a feeling of passion in me the way that it used to.
In the intro I noted that there is a sense of relief felt now that we are home, but just know that that is coupled with uncertainty as well. Relief in the sense that we are back where everything is familiar, relief that if anything was to happen to one of our loved ones we could be there in an instant, and relief because we feel as though this is truly where we are meant to be. The United States is complex, but Montana was never the issue, she's home in every sense of the word. The uncertainty is stemming from some kind of looming quarter life crisis that has us both thinking "what's next?" So what is next? For me, personally, I love social media, content creation, design, blogging, history, etc. and I want to pursue those things through my TikTok account and through this blog where we can be a bit more in-depth and personable. For us as a couple, more so Chase, there are some business opportunities that we are currently seeking related to livestock. Chase's skillset is very wide ranging and I want to see him flourish in his element(s) and we are currently trying to work out the kinks in his being able to do so.
What we know going forward is how important it is for us and for us as parents to prioritize traveling and exposing our kids to new cultures and locations. I would love to have the ability to own a home or flat in Scotland someday to be able to visit whenever, and to have somewhat of a 'home base' overseas that would allow us to see even more of the European continent. My four year old talks fondly about 'Island Scotland' (not sure how she came to call it that) but I hope our memories there stay with her forever because they certainly will for us.
Love,
callie
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